I’ve been noticing my lack of presence this week. It’s the funny thing about practicing mindfulness and meditation regularly, you start to notice things about yourself. How you escape, how you resist, how you seek to control. I think it’s funny when people assume that meditation is all about relaxation and calming down. Yes, it can offer that. And it’s also a doorway to more intense transformational development and growth. It’s a lot harder to sit and do nothing.
This week has offered me a window into how much I resist what is. I spend time thinking about the future, planning how to make things better in the long-term, and hoping to avoid overwhelmed in the not too distant future. Even as I write this my almost two-year-old daughter is waking up. And I’m feeling this need to rush my writing in order to be ready for her needs. This week I’ve also felt the desire to back to the past. When things were easier, or better in some way.
By default, like most humans, I lean towards a negativity bias. I also get caught in thinking that I’m the only one who suffers from this. Everyone else seems happy with their life, at least on social media. I’ve noticed this week, a feeling of isolation, a false belief that I’m the only one on the planet experiencing strong discomfort for how my life has turned out. One of the meditation practices that can help with this feeling of isolation is called Tonglen. It totally works.
Back to this morning, my youngest just got out of bed. She’s super cute right now. And she even seems content. This is the first time, probably in like forever that she has slept all through the night. Hurrah! Yes, sometimes she cries. Often, more than I notice because I’m too busy resisting what is, she’s happy. When we are in resistance to life as it is, we can miss the goodness and simple pleasantness that is all around us.
We have various experiences in life. It’s true, some are less pleasant, but we don’t have to get attached to them, or spend all of our waking hours trying to avoid them. Amazing life experiencing also come and go, we don’t need to get attached to those either. Why? Because we spend a lot of time trying to make or control life in order to experience more happiness and comfort. But in doing so, we totally miss the simple and amazing moments right here and now. Like how my daughter has climbed up onto the bed with some Halloween stickers and is now placing them onto her legs. She’s totally engaged in a present moment activity. We can learn a lot from small children.
What helped me this week is taking time to reconnect to what is true. Noticing when I’ve been caught in the trance of resistance. There’s a practice called R.A.I.N. that I’ll be writing more about. It’s an acronym for: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and New-Thought. The more I practice R.A.I.N. the easier it has been to get unstuck from negative patterns.
The invitation for all of us is to notice and be present for the little moments. Practice getting out of the stories that things need or ought to be different. Awaken to the joy that is in you and around you.
Stop. Notice. Breathe. Repeat.
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